Losing My Religion

Like many people in my age group, I have grown weary of organized religion. Being raised in a very traditional, very religious household, the absence of church-going has caused great concern for my family. I am barraged with questions about my faith, if I am a practicing Christian, do I read my Bible etc. No matter how many times I explain that I am very strong in my faith, that I am a Christian (my kids also go to a Christian school, etc) and it's just a disillusionment with the organized church as a whole, not an argument with my faith that keeps me from going to church, they still insist on pursuing these discussions and continue to not believe what I say!

My choice to divorce, and pursue my career in dealing poker hasn't helped the conversation either. But for me, I mostly struggle with the hypocritical attitudes of those who preach but don't live it, and I have a hard time finding a congregation where I feel like I'm getting what I need spiritually and where my children are accepted and taught to appropriately as well. What I'm having a hard time finding is a church with a traditional service that isn't at 8am on a Sunday morning, that doesn't have 5,000 (or more members) that hands out a bulletin, and has similar theology to what I believe. Good Luck with that one!

I think I have created a solution for myself. Since I have attended various franchises of church throughout my life and find bits and pieces of all to add to my faith, I could devise a schedule of attendance based on church history. It would look like this:

The first Friday of the cycle, I would attend a temple for a traditional Jewish service. Two days later, on Sunday I would attend a Greek Orthodox service symbolizing the early church. The next Sunday I would go to Mass at a Catholic church to represent the first split in Christianity. The third Sunday I would take a break, which would symbolize the Renaissance and a new way of thinking. The fourth Sunday I would go to a Lutheran church, which would represent the nailing of the 95 theses on the door of the cathedral in Wittenberg and the birth of protestantism. The next Sunday, be it the 5th of the month, or a new month, I would go to a church that was either Calvinist/Christian Reformed or Presbyterian, to symbolize the next split of thought, and give pause to the denomination in which I was raised. The Sunday after that I would go to a Methodist/Wesleyan church, again furthering a thought and split in the history of Christianity, and then end with a final Sunday of a service at a mega-church of my choosing, since I find them to be about the same. They all claim to be "different" and yet the style of each is very similar. Video broadcasts of services, lots of music, lights, singing the same song through over and over, no bulletin, and when the service over you wait the same amount of time you were in the service to leave because the parking lot is jammed with all the cars for the 5,000+ people you were just with! The last Sunday of the month would be another break to gear up for the repeat of the cycle above.

I think this way, I would be really living the history of my faith, or just getting really confused! But, it may just be the solution to my searching and the pestering from my family. (nah... it's family, they gotta nag about something!)

*note, I chose the above denominations as examples and expressions of the closest protestant faiths to what I was raised in. This post is not considered historically accurate, nor did I fully look into adding other world religions into my time line. This is my personal faith and reflects my theological background and is not meant to ignore or dispute any other faith.*